
Just for context, this is my white, country grandma talking. And this is me at roughly the age she's talking about:

This story is especially funny because there's this long-running joke in my family about how one time when my mom and dad were dating (and she was a lot newer to the US of A than she is now), their friends were all over and she came out and asked, "Does anyone want some apple pie?" and of course everyone was like YES. And then she said, "Well, we don't have any," and walked out.
So, quick tip to anyone who wants to get on my parents' good sides (you know who you are): all you have to do is offer something and then say you don't have any. Use of the word "any" is key. It's so easy! My dad doesn't show his gun collection to my boyfriends anymore; he's gotten pretty easy-going over the years.
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